I grew up during the 1960s and 1970s in a small community nestled within the lakes and mountains of upstate New York.  Our town was largely made up of conservative, blue-collar, hard-working people; most of whom were employed at the local paper mill.  In my ten years, I worked many babysitting jobs for friends and neighbors whenever I had extra time away from my school and home duties.  It was during this time that I began to really enjoy interacting with young children and started to dream about the day that I would get married and have my own children to care for.  After high school, I attended college to begin my career in the nursing field.  It was shortly thereafter that I met the love of my life, and we were married.  Eventually my husband and I moved away to another state and began to concentrate on the “American Dream”; a new house, new careers, and having a family.

We thought that starting a family would be easy.  After all, we saw many of our friends and relatives getting pregnant and having babies all the time; how hard could it be?  But we soon found out that sometimes couples are not as easily blessed to have children; that it may take time and difficulties can be encountered.  Finally, after a couple of years, I became pregnant with our first child!  We were beyond happy with the prospect of having a child and starting our family.  Thanks to God, our prayers had been answered.  But to our dismay, the pregnancy ended in a miscarriage.  We were both devastated. What we had hoped and prayed for was gone.

At this time in my life, I experienced many emotions and the temptation to think, “Why me?  What did I do wrong?  Why was I being punished by God?” It was so tempting to be angry at God. I couldn’t understand why it was easy for others, but not for us. Didn’t he care about our pain? After a few months, we again began to start a family.  For whatever reasons, just like the first time, it did not happen easily.  After a couple of years of unsuccessful trying, we were visiting La Salette Shrine in Massachusetts.  I lit a candle and prayed that God would please bless us with another pregnancy.  With the grace of God, two months later my prayers had been answered; I became pregnant once again!  The physical part of the pregnancy went well, but the emotional part of the pregnancy was difficult.  I constantly feared that I would once again end up with a miscarriage as I had before.  Through strong prayers and devotion to God, our first child was born healthy nine months later.  Thanks be to God for our new baby girl!  We believe so much that our child was truly a blessing from God. 

Over the next few months, I once again experienced many emotions; but this time the temptation was different.  I was in constant fear of something bad happening and losing the child that we had longed to have.  Unfortunately, my anxiety and fears led to some serious health issues for me over the first two years of our daughter’s life; including three different hospitalizations. During those times, I prayed to God that I would live long enough for our daughter to know her mom.  Again, I found myself tempted to doubt that God would handle this situation the way I thought He should. But God had answered my prayers to become a mom and I needed His grace to get me through my health challenges and be there for her. Within a couple of years, my overall health continued to improve, and we were once again blessed with a second child, our son.  My husband and I were both extremely happy that we finally had the healthy and growing family that we had dreamed of.

Being a parent is very challenging in many ways and I felt that I needed to get my spiritual life closer to God.  I had been raised Catholic, but as time passed, I started to make choices that did not make God, my faith, and the church my priority.  I had weakened my bond with Jesus Christ and my faith had wavered.  After the birth of our children, I felt truly fulfilled to be the mother of two gifts from God.  Having children made me believe that our life as a family was complete.  The birth of my two children was the catalyst that brought me back to my faith in God and the church.

We loved and adored our children.  Looking back, their births were the highlight our marriage.  My prayers had been answered, and this truly brought me back to God.  Through the years, I have continued to grow my spiritual faith with God and the church.  Today, I continue to foster my connection with God on a daily basis through prayer and living the Word of Jesus Christ.  This period of Lent is a time to reflect on the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, and to grow ourselves in our faith through forgiveness and spiritual growth and healing.  We truly cherish our lives here with the Holy Family community as it continues to help us grow closer to God and our faith.

Jackie Porth and her husband Jim are both retired and moved here from Rhode Island two years ago. Jackie had a career as a Charge Nurse in the geriatric field, and Jim was a Systems Engineer for U.S. Navy Submarine Support. They enjoy Holy Family Catholic Church and are currently involved in various church activities and groups.