Matthew 1:18 “Now the birth of Jesus the Messiah took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit.”

She’s back! As I walk these roads, my feet kick up dust clouds behind me in their rush to carry me to her. She is home and my heart is pounding. I need to relax. Keep it together, Joseph. You’re not some young man who can’t control his excitement. Just stop by and say hello. Let her know you’ve missed her and find out how her cousins are doing. Offer to take her for a walk and catch up. This is not a big deal. It’s just Mary. 

I arrive at her home and Anne opens the door. “She’s home, right? Can I see her? I’m sure she’s tired from the journey, but I couldn’t wait.”, I blurt out without thinking. But the look in my future mother-in-law’s sweet, tired eyes stop me. 

“Joseph, come in. We need to talk.” 

Why do those words feel like a boulder just landed on my chest? Nothing good starts with, “We need to talk.” My mind begins to race. Is Mary okay? Did something happen while she was with Zechariah and Elizabeth? Was it the trip home? I know how dangerous travel can be through that area.

I turn to search for my bride, my eyes adjusting the dim light in the home as they move across the furniture looking for Mary. And there she is, standing just a few feet away. Relief floods my heart at the sight of her, but what is going on? My gaze travels over her checking to see if she’s okay and she seems fine. Maybe a little tired, probably from the trip. She looks beautiful, as always, standing there with her hands folded across her stomach. 

Wait, something’s different. She looks at me and our eyes meet. We’ve always had a strong connection and I know she’s trying to tell me something, but I’m truly confused by what I see in front of me. Is she… with child? How? When? This does not make sense. I turn to look at Anne, standing in the corner, her hands tightly twisting a towel. She can’t quite look at me. She just nods her head and looks over at her daughter. 

“Mary?” I hear my own voice and all the questions in that one word fall to the floor at her feet. I know this child is not mine, but this does not make any sense.

“Please, tell me this isn’t happening? Tell me this isn’t true.” I desperately want to wake from this dream. 

Then her sweet innocent voice breaks through my fog. “Yes, Joseph. It is true. I know this doesn’t make sense, but there is more here than you know.”

Anger wells up within me and I have to leave. I can’t listen to this. I don’t even want to know. There is nothing she could say to make this alright. As I turn to leave, I feel her hand gently touch my arm and it burns. I shrug it away and storm past Anne, crying quietly by the door. I need time. I need to think. I need to pray. 

Reflection Questions: Have you ever heard news that rocked your world? Suddenly everything that you knew and trusted, suddenly seems turned on its head and your heart just stops. Joseph had plans. He saw a future laid out in front of him and suddenly he is faced with something he didn’t see coming. Imagine what he must be feeling and thinking? What would your response have been? Would you have stayed and listened or been too emotional in that moment to hear? 

Prayer: Lord, sometimes I don’t understand Your plans. It can make me angry and frustrated. I can react childishly in my pain or confusion and lash out at You or those around me. I can pout and pull within myself, finding comfort in my own mind as I try to solve the problem it feels You are making me deal with. Help me to let go of my own understanding and trust. But even more, walk with me as I get to that point, because it is not easy, and I need Your grace to become humble to your Will. Amen.