Matthew 1:19-23 “Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to dismiss her quietly. But just when had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” All this took place to fulfill what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet: “Look, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel,” which means, “God is with us.” 

I lay here trying to sleep. Yet all I can do is stare into the darkness surrounding me. Even if the night was not so black, with my mind so jumbled, I feel blindsided by all that has happened. The walls are closing in on me, stone cold and solid. This home which brought me joy and a feeling of safety just yesterday, now has me trapped. I’ve been preparing this place for us, for her. I wanted it to be perfect. Now, I don’t know what to think. I don’t know what to do. If it wasn’t for the neighbors so close by, I’d scream to the heavens, “WHY?”  

Lord, I have been wrestling with my pain, betrayal, and confusion for hours. Mary is with child. I never would have expected this and I don’t know what is next. Help me understand. How do I make sense of this? What do I do now? If I make a big deal of this, she will face even more disgrace and pain, possibly death. No matter what has happened, I still love her. I can’t put that on her. But, I can’t go through with this marriage when she has obviously not held sacred our betrothal, can I? Do I have any other options? Is there a way to break this off quietly, so that we can all just go about our lives and put this behind us? That is what I must do. It will be easier for both of us, if this can just go away. 

Sleep overtakes me and I submit, finally feeling like I have a direction in which to move. Rest. I just need a moment's rest. 

The rays of sunlight tickle my eyes and through the haze of sleep, I look around. The day feels different. Why? Wait. Was that just my imagination? No, it was real. Just like my namesake from old, Lord, you sent me a messenger in my dream. He was bold and strong and the light around him shone so brightly that the darkness surrounding me had to flee. I will always remember his words and the peace they brought to my heart. “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.”

You have answered my prayers and I believe the words spoken to me. Now I can begin to understand better why Mary looked so at peace even with the scandal she must have known she would endure. Even as she knew the pain I would feel, she radiated joy. It seemed she wanted to say more, but would have I even believed her? She must have known that, just as You had to be the one to give her the message, I would need to hear Your voice as well. 

You are calling us. I may not be a king, but I am to help raise the King. The Messiah has come and You have chosen a man unworthy, but trying and a young woman, humble and prayerful to play a part in your plan of salvation. Thank you, Lord. I must go see Mary. I must talk with her and share this news. I can already see the smile on her face. I know I hurt her yesterday, but I have a feeling she will understand. 

Reflection Questions: Have you ever considered that Mary didn’t tell Joseph every detail of her vision until after he had his dream? Would he have believed her? Was it necessary for him to wrestle for a while and in the end, hear the truth from the Lord? Are there people in your life that need time to come to the truth that God loves them and has a purpose for their lives? Do we need that time? Maybe consider today, that the struggles we go through help lead us to a dependence on God and a surrender to His will over our own. Let that work in your heart and see what God reveals. 

Prayer: God, You sent dreams to Joseph in the Old Testament and St. Joseph in the New. These dreams revealed truths and fulfillments of prophecies and brought about Your miracles through struggles they endured. Today, help me to hear Your message for me, whether awake or asleep. Help me to be so in tuned to You, that I can hear You. Amen.