Today, begins the Holy Triduum. It’s Holy Thursday and we find Jesus washing the feet of the apostles. What does this all mean? Why would Jesus do this?
Let’s spend some time today reflecting on all of this. Place yourself in the upper room. Today’s reflection will bring us into the dialogue between Jesus and His Father.
It is time.
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Ezekiel 12:1-8, 11-14, Psalm 116, 1 Cor. 11:23-26, John 13:1-15
Abba, it is time. You have made me a well of living water. Help me show my brethren how it is to be used. In these final hours, use me to teach them that the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve and allow me to give them a model to follow. These are my last few hours with my friends. I know that I must continue moving forward even though my heart is heavy. I understand what I must do, but there is a real fear creeping up within me for the suffering on the horizon. When I look at these men you’ve given me, my love for them overcomes any trepidation. What a gift they have been, each in their unique way.
These twelve have been my support and strength here on earth. It is time to give them a clear demonstration of my love that will carry them through the next few days. I want to make sure they are transformed and ready. After three years of miracles and teaching, they are starting to get comfortable. I want these final hours to be something they never forget and ask you to use my words and actions to shape them and strengthen them for their mission. I know they need to understand what’s coming, but I want to make sure they really absorb the truth of their call.
Father, I am curious how they will respond to this action. I’m sure Peter won’t understand at first, but help him come around, so he can help the others. As I rise, I can feel every eye on me. They have been watching me closely all night. I know they sense something is different. Where is the towel? There it is, by John’s feet. As I tie it around my waist, I can see them start to shift in their seats.
Here we go. With the basin in one hand and the clay pitcher in the other, I make my way over to Andrew. As I kneel and reach for his foot, slipping off his sandal, I hear the collective gasp of my men. Part of me wants to say, “Yes, I am going to wash your feet, just like the lowliest servant. Does this shock you? Good!” Andrew’s sweet eyes begin to fill up with tears as the water I’m pouring gently flows over his skin. I take my time washing the day’s dust away and look up to see the confusion on his face. How many times has he had that look, especially when the man cured of leprosy returned to thank me? It’s a mixture of awe and confusion. Oh Abba, your son Andrew’s heart is not prepared for what he will soon witness. This is just the beginning.
Father, as I gently hold one foot and then the other in my hands, I thank you for the many miles we have walked together. You have given me each of these to stand by me as I’ve spoken to your people. They have knelt with me in prayer. And they have laughed and cried with me as we’ve seen people’s lives change through the power of your Grace.
Here is Phillip and all his bravado and Thomas with all his questions.
Now James, who has always been as quick to judge as he has been to forgive.
His brother John has a sweet innocence and loyalty. I pray his heart is protected, Father, in the next few hours. He will need your strength.
And Matthew; how far he has come. Those who hated him before would not even recognize him today.
All the rest have each offered me their love and devotion in a myriad of ways. As the water continues to pour over each foot, I can see the tears flowing over each cheek and dripping down upon their laps. Some of the tears have even anointed me falling upon my bent head as I’ve made my way around to each one of them. Thank you, Abba.
Even Judas, so confused and in pain right now. How my heart aches for the road he has chosen, but Father, you know. You know what must be done and you gave him his free will.
It’s time for Peter. I know this rough and impetuous soul will protest, as he is want to do, but tonight, I want him to truly see and understand. He, especially, will need this reminder to be carved into his heart and mind. I have a special job for him and the trials he will face now will strengthen him for all that will land on his shoulders.
“Master, are you going to wash my feet?”
I knew it. Oh, Peter. “What I am doing, you do not understand now, but you will understand later.”
“You will never wash my feet.”
I look at him willing him to understand. Come on, please hear me, Cephas… “Unless I wash you, you will have no inheritance with me.”
I see it in his eyes the moment it clicks and in typical Peter style, “Master, then not only my feet, but my hands and head as well.” He never does things half-way, this giant fisherman.
“Whoever has bathed has no need except to have his feet washed, for he is clean all over; so you are clean, but not all.” I glance at John, knowing that he will understand who I am speaking of. Again, my heart aches for Judas. I don’t want to lose a single one of these men, Father.
It is finished. I place the basin and the bowl off to the side and remove the damp towel from around my waist. As I am putting my garments back on, the silence in the room is tangible. I believe this rowdy group is truly without words and unsure of what is happening. I only have a little more time. Father, give me the words to help them understand.
“Do you realize what I have done for you? You call me ‘teacher’ and ‘master,’ and rightly so, for indeed I am. If I, therefore, the master and teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash one another’s feet. I have given you a model to follow, so that as I have done for you, you should also do.”
My gaze moves across the room slowly and I look each of them directly in the eyes, willing them to truly wake up and understand. This isn’t just a teaching or wise lesson to be heard. This is your call, my apostles. This is what you are to do, who you are to become, and the only true way to change the world. If you thought that washing your feet was shocking, the next couple of days will knock you off your clean feet. So, please, let the memory of this night ground you in the future as you will be called to do as I have done. And when you do, you will save souls. I love you all so very much.
Keep them close, Abba. Help them understand. This road will not be easy, but they were born for this.